I left social media, and I'm bored

It’s been almost three weeks since I deleted my Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.

A few reflections.

1. I’m bored sometimes.

It’s a foreign thing to me. To actually BE bored. I am so used to filling every single nook and cranny of my life and mind with constant and overwhelming stimulus that to just sit, in a quiet house, and not have something to do or entertain me - it’s kind of delicious.

It’s forced me to ask myself: What do you WANT to do?

And the answer to that question is oftentimes surprising.

Sometimes I want to feel the sun on my skin. Sometimes I want a snack, or a nap, or a hug (Am I a 38 year old toddler?) Sometimes I let my mind wander and I’m surprised at what bubbles to the surface.

It feels like a luxury to be bored. An indulgence to think about whatever I want to and follow the rabbit trails of my mind wherever they wander. To select an album to listen to because I want to get lost in some soulful Jazz or a banger from my highschool years.

For the first time in a very long time, I am choosing where I want to put my attention rather than my attention being pulled and pushed along by a feed, an algorithm, someone I barely know’s political opinions and outrage.

2. I’m spending WAY less and feeling more content

Ok, I have lots of great qualities - but I’ll be the first to admit, I’m a sucker for shiny things and good advertising and some targeted ads. I just am. I’m a little goldfish in a grown woman’s body and I get sucked in so HARD.

I just realized how little I am have spent these past few weeks, and how I’ve barely even thought about it. I haven’t had to muscle myself into a “no-spend January” or put a budget or restriction. I’m just living my life and only buying things I need because I literally need them.

This feels like a “duh” moment, but I’m honestly shocked.

I’m also feeling much better about my body. I love fitness and working out and I follow a lot of fitness influencers (or, I did) and I love learning from them, but God Damn - their super human, muscle-packed, lean and ripped bodies definitely put me in a very weird headspace when I’d look at mine.

Since coming off social media, I feel really good in my body - I have energy and strength and all my clothes fit - I literally have nothing to complain about when I’m not measuring myself up against stage ready physique competitors.

And this is probably the biggest take away - when I am just living MY life. In my own day to day - things are better, easier, quieter, aligned - because I am the only voice. I am the only one in my head. If my life genuinely feels good to me (which it does) I’m good

3. I have had three calls with three friends in three weeks

One of the things I wanted to prioritize was connection. I didn’t want to lose touch of what was going on in my friend’s lives. I decided I could just text my friends - the ones I really truly love and want to stay connected to - and see if they are free for a chat.

It’s only been three weeks, and I’ve only chatted with three friends - and I have many more to connect with as time goes by, but it’s felt so good. Real, deep, expansive conversations.

And sure, I do KIND of miss seeing photos of their kids, or random updates from their life - but, I’m beyond happy with these phone calls.

4. I miss memes

Memes are a love language to me - they are one of my absolute favorite things in life. I love being in on the inside jokes of the internet. The jokes on top of jokes, the silly moments that go viral and make us all laugh.

I miss memes. I’m not ashamed to admit it - it is the single worst thing about this decision.

All in all though, I’m perfectly bored, more present, less spendy, phone-chatty and a bit meme-deprived over here - and I couldn’t be happier.